Alex
Friday, November 21, 2008
Nothing's wrong, but something's bothering me...
I couldn't really tell you what the feeling is....it's just something. It's been bugging me for a while now. At first I thought it could've been spirits, and maybe I'm still right, but it seems to be so much more than that. It kind of feels like my brain is at war with itself sometimes, and a part of me is finally starting to show it's face for the first time. I feel lots of fear, yeah...that's the emotion I'm feeling. I'm worrying too much about the future when I should be looking at what I can do right now. I'm afraid of growing up, because it terrifies the shit out of me. Being responsible is easy, sometimes. I rely heavily on the Queen and the Kingdom for support...and I realize that it could really turn into a bad thing if it continues... Too many things are bothering me, man...but It's like I said; nothing's wrong at all. The fact that I'm single bothers the shit out of me, and I'm not one to just go out and find a girl to talk to, or straight up have sex. That's not me. It's very hard for me to do that...and because that's not me, am I doomed to not find a girl until I'm 30? See...there I go again, thinking about the future...heh. It almost feels as if I'm completely alone, but I know that to not be the case. I have the best family and friends a guy could ask for. But something is still missing... I can't know what it is, but it's burning a hole in my brain. At least Snowboarding will take things off of my mind for a few months...thank god the snow fell early, this year, heh. Ah, well. I know it's not much, but I'm not good at thinking of words, right now. I must take my leave. Hope you enjoyed it =D.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Fo Shizzle Mah Bizzle! You need to meditate. (^_~)b
I understand fear of being alone. It can lead you into making decisions you wouldn’t otherwise make. You sound like you know how to respect and treat a girl. The right “lady” for you is out there. Don’t rush it. Make sure it’s right.
Dependence on your Queen is okay for awhile but planning for future independence must be somewhere in your cards. It doesn’t mean you can’t live now but start planting some seeds to the future.
I’m much older than you, married, with children, and I still don’t feel like I’ve grown up. I made choices that I’m dealing with and they are okay, but I now think they were made out of fear of being alone and broke, and not my ideal route for happiness.
My advice, move forward, but don’t rush it! Make your choices for the right reasons.
Post a Comment